Absent from nevousness and Stress

I’m sitting outside of my is class to afraid to go in. I just got here at 1:30, which is fifteen minutes late, and they are giving presentations for books on Michael Crichton. I’m supposed to in there waiting to give my speech as well but don’t have anything to show for it. I mean I read the book that I’m doing the project on. Which is the terminal man, but I couldn’t put anything down onto paper. I know what I was going to talk about. How there are flaws in the book both is science and in the way Harry Benson, one of the characters who the story surrounds itself around and becomes the books antagonist for the last half, became addicted and quickly insane from his treatments. I have most of the paper done, it just that I don’t have a good introduction or conclusion, which is what really held me back. The presentation I can do but I also got nervous with that as well, fearing that it would not be as good as what some groups have used in theirs.  I know I already have a better understanding than the last group that did theirs, who really just gave a really vague summary on it and used most of their time to show the class the trailer for the movie based on the book. I just hope the professor well let me present it in front of the class on Monday, even if I get points taken off for being late. It will at least be better that standing up in front of the class, nervous and scared, without a single thing to say.  I think it might help if I worked on it somewhere else than on campus as well. I think i might just head to the library for now. Its already 1:58 and it would look bad if I walked in and hoped no one would notice me.

I would like to say that I am a wonderfully writer, but that would be a lie. That’s not to say that I can write, of course I can, its just that whenever I take to the time to sit down to work on a paper, be it for class or just for fun I start to get nervous, anxious and not to mention writers block for every sentence, that it either takes me forever to get the paper done. I have so many good  ideas too, but I just cant get them onto paper. I'm getting a little better but even then I still cant get my papers  done without stressing out  overnight so that I don’t get any sleep in the end. I really don’t how I could improve my writing.this sadly has been a problem ever since i was little and I don't know if Ill ever get over it.

Finals

Well it looks like finals are already here. I had really hoped this would have been a great first semester for me but in reality I’ve been having trouble in all of my classes. That’s not to say that I don’t like them. I enjoy going to Wartburg.  Really I was just very unprepared and let time quickly get the best of me to the point that I’m not sure that I can even pass this.  I can’t blame it on my ADHD either.  I just get so nervous and stressed that I try to find something to calm me down, be it having a snack or going on to YouTube or surfing the web for what feels like only a few minutes turns out to be an hour or two. Then I when I try to write again I automatically get stressed out.  I still have so many papers and projects to write. I don’t know if I can get them done in time. I mean I will get them done, but I’m just not sure if it will be enough to raise my grade in my classes so I can pass. But I’m not going to give up, since my families is still proud of me that I was able to get in here and just because I got quickly overwhelmed doesn’t mean that I’m just going to crawl into my bed flunk out of school.  I’m going to get my entire papers don for English and IS 101 and I’m going to ace the final in Biology. I know the only  class that I will be betting an A in is Castle singers but  I would rather have one A and everything else to be low C’s and low B’s then flunking out.