Absent from nevousness and Stress

I’m sitting outside of my is class to afraid to go in. I just got here at 1:30, which is fifteen minutes late, and they are giving presentations for books on Michael Crichton. I’m supposed to in there waiting to give my speech as well but don’t have anything to show for it. I mean I read the book that I’m doing the project on. Which is the terminal man, but I couldn’t put anything down onto paper. I know what I was going to talk about. How there are flaws in the book both is science and in the way Harry Benson, one of the characters who the story surrounds itself around and becomes the books antagonist for the last half, became addicted and quickly insane from his treatments. I have most of the paper done, it just that I don’t have a good introduction or conclusion, which is what really held me back. The presentation I can do but I also got nervous with that as well, fearing that it would not be as good as what some groups have used in theirs.  I know I already have a better understanding than the last group that did theirs, who really just gave a really vague summary on it and used most of their time to show the class the trailer for the movie based on the book. I just hope the professor well let me present it in front of the class on Monday, even if I get points taken off for being late. It will at least be better that standing up in front of the class, nervous and scared, without a single thing to say.  I think it might help if I worked on it somewhere else than on campus as well. I think i might just head to the library for now. Its already 1:58 and it would look bad if I walked in and hoped no one would notice me.

I would like to say that I am a wonderfully writer, but that would be a lie. That’s not to say that I can write, of course I can, its just that whenever I take to the time to sit down to work on a paper, be it for class or just for fun I start to get nervous, anxious and not to mention writers block for every sentence, that it either takes me forever to get the paper done. I have so many good  ideas too, but I just cant get them onto paper. I'm getting a little better but even then I still cant get my papers  done without stressing out  overnight so that I don’t get any sleep in the end. I really don’t how I could improve my writing.this sadly has been a problem ever since i was little and I don't know if Ill ever get over it.

Finals

Well it looks like finals are already here. I had really hoped this would have been a great first semester for me but in reality I’ve been having trouble in all of my classes. That’s not to say that I don’t like them. I enjoy going to Wartburg.  Really I was just very unprepared and let time quickly get the best of me to the point that I’m not sure that I can even pass this.  I can’t blame it on my ADHD either.  I just get so nervous and stressed that I try to find something to calm me down, be it having a snack or going on to YouTube or surfing the web for what feels like only a few minutes turns out to be an hour or two. Then I when I try to write again I automatically get stressed out.  I still have so many papers and projects to write. I don’t know if I can get them done in time. I mean I will get them done, but I’m just not sure if it will be enough to raise my grade in my classes so I can pass. But I’m not going to give up, since my families is still proud of me that I was able to get in here and just because I got quickly overwhelmed doesn’t mean that I’m just going to crawl into my bed flunk out of school.  I’m going to get my entire papers don for English and IS 101 and I’m going to ace the final in Biology. I know the only  class that I will be betting an A in is Castle singers but  I would rather have one A and everything else to be low C’s and low B’s then flunking out.

If the Devil came to Earth

I was thinking a couple weeks ago about something my dad joked about with me. He said that if the devil existed and came to earth, it would take the form of a deer. I laughed and agreed with him on this. You can imagine how they start out as an adorable little fawn that you can’t help but love. However the evil begins to grow as it gets a little bigger. Once there old, and tall enough they begin to eat the buds off the ornamental tree in my parents yard, causing them to die later. They will move on to the raspberry bushes and flower, destroying them and the beauty they would have created if left alone then later at night  they come back to wake the family dogs so that they bark and wake us and the neighbors up. Now when they are fully grown, after a few years, though still beautiful you can clearly see the evil inside. Large bucks, for example, chase and attacks hikers and hunter, often times carrying ticks that contain limes disease.  Their now large horns can easily stab and puncture, killing a man without effort.  Any time of the year they seem to be waiting by the side of the road, ready to throw themselves in front of vehicles and killing themselves while trying to destroy the car and the people inside. So if you are driving late at night, watch out for the deer. Who knows the devil might be one of them.

P.O.V Problems

With the release of Paranormal activity 3, I would like to give my  thoughts on  Point of View/ found footage cinematography or P.O.V,  My main point isn’t with Paranormal activity, since I have only read and listen to reviews by various people and critics, from what I’ve seen from the movies aside from the first one are pretty promising.  The directors and cast have  gone into a great deal with trying to make the movie seem  very realistic with characters that we, the audience, do not want to see harmed or killed in anyway, while also building up to a climax. Which is what P.O.V should be, a realistic movie that has the characters filming the events going on around them or have it where the movie was told completely through security cameras in a building? The problem however is that filmmakers tend to focus more on the found footage , which ruins most of the suspense of the movie by letting the audience know that, yeah the people that filmed the events that are about to happen are already dead. Also if the movie involves a monster the person using the camera, somehow become selfish and risks the safety of others or quickly dropping in a hundred IQ points, such as in Clover field, when one of the characters grabs the camera points it upwards at the monster instead of running away before quickly getting attacked, or in Diary of the dead where the main character decides to wait by his camera and film instead of helping his friends. This takes away from the realism since in real life the person would of tossed the camera knowing that their life and their friends life is more important than a capturing a few minutes of film. Also if it’s not on a tripod it goes from not moving to shaking all over the place making it not only annoying, but also boring, frustrating to watch. This main problem was the reason I walked out of clover field twice.

Why can they simply make a movie that from a first person’s perspective? It wouldn’t be too hard since they make headsets that can hold a camera, allowing it the person filming to use both of their hands. Course the argument would simply be that it would be like watching someone plays a videogame. And because of this I will ask a question. Would you rather sit in a chair watch a first person view of a video game or what looks like a poorly done home video where the person holding the camera has trouble keeping focused and steady?

Recent zombie movies... ehhhh

I’m really tired of some of the releases in the zombie genera since the beginning of the twenty first century. Wait here me out, I said some not all. Movies such as Zombie land, 28 days later, Shawn of the dead as well as the resident evil, Dead Rising, and dead space game series are good. They have great characters that most of the audience can relate with, good settings, good plot and sense of direction, breaking some zombie clichés such as a member of the team or group of people in the story has to get bitten, by a zombie of course, turns, then is either shot or causes the death of another character. Zombie land is a good example of this by not killing or biting any of the main four characters of the movie, allowing them to live at the end.   However many of the ones released to day seem do only be ripping of movies that have come before it. Rec and Rec 2 for example while they are both good movies about  people trapped in building with people possessed by demons, as was reveled in rec2 inserted of zombies, which also act and infect almost the same way. Was first used almost exactly in demons and demons 2 where in the second one people were trapped in a large apartment complex and the tenants became possessed with a demonic entity.  Or the miniseries dead set which took place in Britain on the set of big brother and clearly ripped of zombies in the night and dawn of the dead movies as well as the sprinting rage infected zombies of 28 days and weeks later.  I just don’t understand why they couldn’t easily be original. It wouldn’t hurt having a movie where people kill zombies in original ways or show how much they care about the fans my making one that’s just one big spoof of zombie movies, while referencing others without trying to rip the originals off.

               

Fall Days

If I was to pick one of my seasons to be my favorite, I would have to pick fall. Fall is one of the seasons when the days are warm and the nights are cool for a few months allowing the leaves on the tress to give off beautiful colors before they completely fall off and are covered in snow by winter. I enjoy the feeling of leaves crunching under my shoes as I walk along trails, seeing them spinning and tumbling in the wind before they fall back to the ground. If I’m lucky I can see animals, such as crows and squirrels moving everywhere to stock up for winter. I guess this is in a way why I hate it. It’s the last time I’ll be able to see any animals outside, aside from the rare coyote and deer. Fall signals the coming of the cold dark weather of winter and the death of summer, like the life of one year is nearing its end. I guess I could say that what fall does give me is the contrast of life and the Yin and Yang. The end of the long hot summer days give way to the cold long summer nights where all of time seems to stand completely still, with the wind being the only sound for miles.